A Climber of Trees (Private)

Been going to LSC gym this week, 2x. Some wt lost, but ate a lot of food yesterday. Too cold to go out today. Intend to start at UH gym this week as well. Almost staying on top of my readings for my seminars, but falling behind on my grading for LSC and UH. Several hours on that today. Jimar and I ok, not great. Was glad I invited myself over to Pew's last Sunday; it was the right thing to do for me.

Worked for a few hours on UH and LSC stuff, syllabi mostly. LSC's requirement to post syllabi on-line is aggravating considering that their system doesn't work. Still, since my core value appears to be career advancement, I did what I could to advance my career for over an hour yesterday Went to lunch with Pew Friday. Even though it had no highlights, it was a good thing to do -- invite someone I trust, simple activity. I may go to some meeting with him this week. Pew knows what's best for him, but I don't feel I need the spiritual component that he seeks. Still, depressed and anxious. While waiting for Pew to show up at Panera, even though I hadn't talked to Jimar in days, decided to reach out and invite him to a hockey game. I also committed to confront him about money. I did the former, chickened out on the latter. So I came home, ignored him and came into my room; he came in and asked what time we would be leaving, but that's all the conversation we had ...

The Kingship of Self-Control We envy the success of others, when we should emulate the process by which that success came. We see the splendid physical development of Sandow, yet we forget that as a babe and child he was so weak there was little hope that his life might be spared. Process, instead of stasis. I tend to look around me and see successful men, but I don't actually emulate their process. I unconsciously believe that they got to their state because of birth and genetics, when many of the people I know are as normal as me, but have made decisions to make them successful.  The individual can attain self-control in great things only through self-control in little things. He must study himself to discover what is the weak point in his armor, what is the element within him that ever keeps him from his fullest success. This is the characteristic upon which he should begin his exercise in self-control. Is it selfishness, vanity, cowardice, morbidness, temper, laziness, worry...

The “Secret” to Becoming a Better Man in 2010 Two kernels from this posting: 1. Core values. What are my core values? I would like to say "family," but that's not true. Perhaps it should be -- my birth family should be more important to me. But I think the only core value that I actually value is progress -- career (which includes academic) progress. If career progress is my core value, then I need to do everything that will make me more successful there. For example, instead of procrastinating doing easy work, such as editing a paper that has publication potential, I need to sacrifice some leisure and recreation and edit the dang paper, then look up publication formats, then send it off. If I know a research project is coming up, I must discipline my time and resources to begin early, consider new ideas, edit carefully, and be prepared to discuss. Being physically in shape will help me progress professionally because it will prevent illness, provide more energy,...

What makes me unhappy; what I don't like about me Body -- overweight, soft, lethargic fatigued Social -- no friends; gay associates; not outgoing; rarely invited to social events Discipline -- rationalization; fearful of being seen; too much e-media; behind on reading Finances -- use money to rent companionship; not saving appropriately Quick answers to these: Body -- Running; eating right; weight training Social -- Running groups; attend meetings at UH; time with other adults (bars, etc.); musical scene; actual dating Discipline -- Time management; commitment; "just do it"; reward systems Finances -- assertive about household; budgeting; review values and goals weekly Initial rebuttals to these: Body -- rather read; rather watch vids; don't want people to see me Social -- rather read; rather not spend money/time traveling all over town; schedule prohibits some meetings; alcohol adds wt. Discipline -- tired Finances -- nothing reasonable; rather spend m...