A Climber of Trees (Private)

Mark Howarth   (832) 381-7469 - mobile 5/24/12 10:06 PM   18 hours ago Mark Howarth:  I'm at the art museum downtown.  1:23 PM Me:  At UH. You enjoying yourself?   2:04 PM Mark Howarth:  Yeah, good shit. How's it going?  3:38 PM Me:  OK. I'm becoming used to being stressed/frustrated with admin whenever I come to UH. / You got plans for the evening?   3:41 PM Mark Howarth:  Hanging with you?  4:55 PM Me:  Just got here. Thanks for everything. / Ignore everything I said.  10:01 PM Mark Howarth:  Hahaha  10:01 PM Mark Howarth:  The, "i love you, man." Means a lot. I love you too, dude.  10:02 PM Me:  Don't talk to me when I'm drunk> I'll say stuff I can;t expolain later. But ... yeah. You're important to me.  10:04 PM Mark Howarth:  You too..to me. Drunk means you can get away with saying whatever. Don't worry about it.  10:06 PM Me:...

Went for 3 mile walk this morning; it;'s been nearly a week. I walked about 3 miles while in Memphis, but nothing since. My weight has gone down, but not as quickly as I had intended; I'm still too lax on the calories. Eating out with Sam and Eduardo this week didn't help. It's difficult for me to convince myself to do anything physical ... always coming up with some excuse. It's difficult, for example, to go walking in the heat of the afternoon after I return from HCC; then I tell myself that I should go walking in the evening, but by 8pm I start to get sleepy, and it's still light out. I need to be invisible. But I put on my hiking shoes (I'm glad I bought those; that was not a wasted investment, like many of my purchases) and went out. On the way back, two medium-size dogs found me and wanted to tag along. I thought they belonged to a woman behind me, but they weren't hers. They were friendly dogs -- one black and one brown -- but I was already co...

[This, from 28 Sept 2010. Wow ... so little things change.] I am sometimes really amazed or impressed at how alienated I am. I'm a relatively nice guy -- I don't take advantage of people, I try to do things for others, I work well in groups, I'm dependable, relatively emotionally stable, have good hygiene. Perhaps my poor sense of humor drives people away. Yet I am completely alone. Everyone I try to befriend betrays me. Perhaps that's because the ones I try to befriend are all losers, I should admit first, but still... I've done enormously expensive things for Jimar ... and he left without saying goodbye, without giving a reason. I suspect it was because he was afraid I was going to sue him for the thousands of dollars he owed me, and because he has an idiot for a father, but we were on good terms before he left and I continued to be generous and he betrayed me. Angel, too -- I've been enormously generous there -- a home, clothes, food, helped buy his f...